Philippines.baronbonk.com Good gogos bad pubs worse operators Angeles needs an alternative to gogo

Bigger is more important than better to some!

After a couple of months in Angeles I have realised one thing: it is all about dick size. Needless to say I am using the word metaphorically; the girls don’t care how long it is as long as there is enough to get their lips round! But I am talking about the multiple bar owners who have taken over several operations and then proved that running a piss up in a brewery is indeed difficult, especially if all you are interested in is proving you have more than the other guy.
I suppose the biggest swinging one is the Aussie dominated committee that runs the Orchid Group that includes the mysterious Shano’s Irish pub, mysterious because this so called Irish bar is named after Shano, an ex Australian cop. The said Shano has given up on the petty committee and moved down the road. The bar area would happily encompass three other bars; it is vast and inevitably soulless and does not know what it is. There is a food operation that turns out some reasonable food but the food is served by girls who are more interested in those customers eating pussy, preferably theirs, than the traditional shepherd’s pie of chunks of beef. Oh dear! Yes, one would have thought an Aussie would know what a shepherd is! There are so many little things wrong with this so called prestige business that it almost makes one cry to see such a great opportunity wasted. One thing Angeles really needs is a good pub and it could probably support a lot more.
On that score the Clive has left Roy’s Pub and the new owners seem to have a thing about Country and Western and this pleasant afternoon watering hole, affectionately known as the Coffin Dodgers, is now undergoing a change of image. The mutterings of the regulars do not bode well for the cowboys and cowgirls that are supposed to enliven the place; windows might have been a better idea!
Kelly who must score points as the worst operator in town has finally given up on the appalling Bourbon Street restaurant and is threatening to turn it into Ned Kelly’s Pub. I will be interested to see what happens. Potentially it is a good idea but if Kelly goes in pissed one evening and fires all the staff and employs the only kind of manager who will stick with him, a groveller, then I fear Ned Kelly’s will go the way of Bourbon Street. One just hopes that the inevitable behind-the-scenes investor will have some input.
Of course Angeles is all about a go-go and there are some seriously good go-gos as well a few bummers. Among the ones I use regularly is the excellent Gecko’s run by George who has been around for over twenty years and is a fun guy. For Patpong regulars he reminds me of Randy of Goldfinger’s. Gecko’s always has a host of pretty girls and an atmosphere that will make you party from the moment you cross the threshold.
This trip I have become enamoured with Champagne; I always have an amusing craic with the prude of cherry girls. Of course they are not all cherries, far from it, but one night I was sitting by the stage and reading the work permits and realised I was looking at six cherry girls. I almost got tempted when one non cherry was trying to persuade me to bar fine her as well as a cheeky little nineteen years old who claimed to be cherry. A good time all round I was promised!
Lollipop seems to have lost some of the allure it had earlier in the year, but Voodoo is still packing them in twenty four hours a day. Fortunately this trip I have, on the whole, managed to avoid the temptations of drinking at dawn. The real star of the ex Fisher group is Angelwitch where Scot rules the roost. This bar is always fun and parties every night till late.
Just round the corner Bar Hoppin is suffering from dick size, or rather lack of it. The short arse owner has such a chip he really does not want customers in case they mention the inadequate word! Next door at Checkers, one of my favourite bars has been screwed up by a re-vamp that blocks the stage from the punters.
There are so many bars on Fields Avenue and its extension Perimeter Road, it would be a major work to visit them all and write them up. Most bars have some kind of a following and are worth calling in for a drink. A few are not: those include Coyote Ugly and the next door Honey Pot!
There is considerable interest in Subic by Angeles operators. Most main hotel owners have, or are about to open a hotel in Baloy Beach, in the middle of the bay, and attached to the main entertainment area of Barrio Barretto. The biggest move is by Dave Fisher who has sold all his Angeles operations in favour of the beach. He now has two hotels and various bars named after his ex-Angeles operation. I popped into Treasure Island Hotel and was impressed with the public areas and the pool; I was less impressed with the rooms in this new build. If it had been me I would have wanted a higher standard of finish, although they are what they are: Asian beach side rooms of the type found everywhere until the upgrading and building of new resorts in the last fifteen years. I stayed at the new Wild Orchid Resort and decided it was a four star build with one star finishing; the problem with their rooms was bad maintenance and lack of furniture. The staff was keen but the management was absent. There was a typical Orchid group manager, a perfectly nice guy, but his job was lining up the beers for his multiple bosses as opposed to making decisions that might improve the resort. Otherwise I thought this resort complex has great potential. I made a decision though that at nearly 4,000 peso a night it was overpriced. So the next time I stayed at the Blue Rock which is virtually next door and is without doubt the dining and daytime bar option of choice. It is normally full. I found their rooms to be even more Asian than the others with prices not that much cheaper than next door if you stayed in one of the so-called better rooms, rooms with a view. All in all it made me wonder if it was worth it. The inflated cost of a room is not the only problem. There is then the cost of the ninety minute journey down the new motorway to stay on a beach between a shipyard and dock yard. As one Angeles bar owner put it: “The hotels are for short time. I would never stay in one of those rooms for a week!”
I did try the Barrio Barretto nightlife in the form of a new bar owned by Tommo, one of the Blue Rock bosses, called Barretos which was lively without lighting my fire. It was usual eclectic mix of boozers, losers, tarts and pool. The other bar I popped into was Wet Spot, part of Dave Fisher’s new empire. It was fun and lively with Daddy Dave looking happy and relaxed, and there were plenty of friendly dancers even if one or two of the service girls were still in rice farming mode. The big issue is ‘Will Barrio Barretto (Subic) become a new Pattaya style resort dragging punters from far and wide?’ I cannot see it.